So... I was just on a podcast called The Character's Toolkit talking about secrets. It starts with Erin White, Author of Like Family talking about how secrets play out in the book and then with maybe 22 minutes left it pivots to my part. It was so much fun, Marisa Gelfand of Clayton Mental Health LLC was a great host...[ read more ]

I was thinking about the work I do, the people I work with and what I like about it and I realized while there are so many areas that I focus or work on with my clients…it can all be brought back to shame in some way.  Sometimes it is the shame we feel for things we have done that...[ read more ]

I work with individuals and couples on everything from basic communication skills, infidelity, connection/intimacy, sexual concerns, kink and relationship orientations/styles.  Sometimes couples come in because both of them want to strengthen and/or rebuild the relationship they have.  Other times they come in because both of them want to try something different; that is, to change how the relationship looks and...[ read more ]

When we think about being in a relationship, finding a partner to share our life with, we often think about the things we see in movies.  We have this idea that this person will complete us, fill our cup, make us happy.  If it’s a good relationship it should be easy, no work, and we will get along all the...[ read more ]

We have many kinds of relationships in our lives, so many different titles.  We are a friend, child, sibling, parent, partner, co-worker- this list goes on.  And we have different expectations in each of these relationships and are okay with that.  But when we are dating more than one person or moving out of a relationship into a new one,...[ read more ]

I see couples that are monogamous in my practice and those that have chosen to open up their relationships in some way- non-monogamous.  When couples come in and talk about opening up their relationship they have lots of different reasons: to spice up their own relationship, to have different sexual experiences, to explore their kinks, to have more than one...[ read more ]

I work with couples and they often come in saying that they want to work on their communication with one another or learn how to fight fair.  As we begin the work, what I notice is that it’s not that they aren’t sharing how they feel, what they want or their perception of what is going on- it is that...[ read more ]

  I heard this song on the radio yesterday and it hit me. I was a mess of emotion and tears for myself but also thinking about how many of us are feeling this way.  Country has a way of doing that, doesn’t it:).  But seriously- it had such a powerful message about how many of us are living, myself...[ read more ]

As I sit in my office and listen to couples as they share with one another, I keep hearing the same statement after someone has shared something really vulnerable- “I didn’t know that”. It’s amazing the things that we think our partner knows about us, even a friend, that we have never shared. We assume that they already know (they’ve...[ read more ]

There is this song by Pink and Chris Stapleton called "Love me anyway?". Every time I hear this song, I think about how so many people feel in their relationships. Not just relationships that are romantic, all relationships, parent/child, friendships, etc. As we walk through life, many people are worried about or searching for that external validation from others. We...[ read more ]