Are You Listening


Are You Listening

I work with couples and they often come in saying that they want to work on their communication with one another or learn how to fight fair.  As we begin the work, what I notice is that it’s not that they aren’t sharing how they feel, what they want or their perception of what is going on- it is that...[ read more ]


  I heard this song on the radio yesterday and it hit me. I was a mess of emotion and tears for myself but also thinking about how many of us are feeling this way.  Country has a way of doing that, doesn’t it:).  But seriously- it had such a powerful message about how many of us are living, myself...[ read more ]

The Vulnerability of Sharing- “I didn’t know that”

As I sit in my office and listen to couples as they share with one another, I keep hearing the same statement after someone has shared something really vulnerable- “I didn’t know that”. It’s amazing the things that we think our partner knows about us, even a friend, that we have never shared. We assume that they already know (they’ve...[ read more ]

Will you love me anyway?

There is this song by Pink and Chris Stapleton called "Love me anyway?". Every time I hear this song, I think about how so many people feel in their relationships. Not just relationships that are romantic, all relationships, parent/child, friendships, etc. As we walk through life, many people are worried about or searching for that external validation from others. We...[ read more ]

Put the Phone Down!

It's an exciting time, the world is opening back up, we are able to go out and have a meal at a restaurant with family and friends. Yet while we have been longing for social interaction with other, somehow we are still unable to disconnect with our electronics. We see it all the time, or maybe we do it ourselves,...[ read more ]

Communication…It’s not just talking

“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating”- Jim Carey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This is one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite quotes from it. It’s a love story that shows the exhilaration you feel when you first meet someone, the problems that you go through as a couple, the frustrations you may feel with your...[ read more ]

Can we expect everything from one person?

Esther Perel talks about how the expectations of marriage are different today then they were in the past. In the past, marriage was an economic decision, children were created so that they could help the family, and the needs of the family were met through the community, the village. Today, we marry for love, children are an addition to the...[ read more ]

A Tale of a Misunderstanding…

I recently took a continuing education on self-regulation for children and was surprised at how it improved my communication with my son. I hadn’t realized that his reactions to things could be due to his perception and interpretation of the situation. I’ll give you an example so that you can see how powerful this can be, not just in communications...[ read more ]

Exploring your own sexuality

I recently participated in an Esther Perel Forbidden Conversations Webinar on Sex. It really made me think about how we view sexuality and how those views or beliefs affect our relationships. We often look at sexuality as what someone does to us, putting it on the other person. I'd instead ask you to look within and ask yourself the questions...[ read more ]

“I assumed”…Communication Problems in Relationships

I'm always amazed when I hear someone say, "I assumed" as a response to any human interaction. I was recently talking with a friend and asked about the communication that her and one of her friends had about how the friendship would continue on as her friend moved away to a different state. The assumption is that we are good...[ read more ]